That is exactly how I feel right now. I know that in a few weeks none of this will really matter - these feelings will be so silly but right now, while I'm in the middle of it - I going a little stir crazy. Maybe its the heat. Its figuratively a million degrees out. In reality its only about 95. Between the heat and a certain someone getting all up in my mix - I feel a little irrelevant. So person "A", hell, let's just call her Alice, or Ali Baba, or Akeema. Yeah, Akeema. Akeema and I work together but we're friends too. Akeema is nothing but nice. Matter of factly I see a lot of myself in her - well how I imagine myself. Charming, witty, always fun to be around - I could go on and on describing her wonderful attributes but, you get the point. It's not that she's done anything either - I'm just insanely territorial. While insane may be too harsh of an adjective it's dead on in describing the internal conflict I'm having. I want all these things for her. My position at this company (not really though, I want her to get as far from this place as humanely possible)- my friends to be her friends, all of it - but not yet. Is it too much to ask that she back off for the little time I have left?
Its so strange - I'm the one going on this amazing carpet ride, this grand adventure, yet I'm desperate to stay. How does one cope with wanting one foot in this world, and the other some where else. I guess it helps knowing how completely and utterly irrational I sound.
I guess the old adage is true. Even people who get everything they want, never get everything they want.
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