... Its been a long Decemeber ...

... and there's reason to believe that maybe this year, will be better than the last... 


Happy New Year. I can't believe that another year has passed. I have so much to be thankful for. There is so much that has happened to me. I am here living a brand new life in Paris. I finally feel like my life is truly beginning. Life is more than this thing, that I pass through, unaffected and blindly, but something that I lead with both eyes wide open. That this life, as short and fucked up and completely insane as it is, is all I have, and everyday I get up, I have to make it worth living. 


I've stumbled so much this year, left behind people that I loved, and people that I thought I loved. I know so much more about myself than I did last year. That in itself, is more than any short lived new years resolution. Its a constitution to myself to continue to grow, and be more than just a citizen of any country but a true citizen of the world. 

Bring it on 2012, I'm ready!

I'm so glad, that I have been able to experience these new things, and I am happier than I've ever really been. I've made new friends, and encountered difficulties that maybe, I would not have been able to handle with any type of grace and tranquility if it was not for really testing myself, and being able to let go of the shore and cross the ocean. There will be things that I want to do over, this year is no different. Confessing that I loved someone that I know did not and could not truly love me back. That's up there. But, I guess there's essentially a reason for it. As selfish, and self satisfying as it was, it was good to get it off of my chest. I just wish that it hadn't been on there in the first place. 


Next year, will be better than this one. I know it, for whatever reason, it just has to be. 


...I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower, Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show him...