... Blame Game...

American style dating in the city of love

In good ole Etats Unis, you play the game.  Having the ability to identify ones emotions are this rarity that only some people have. Men and women walk around like drones. Any feelings or emotions that you do have, about someone else, you trick yourself into thinking or feeling the other. I like you, I miss you, are automatically morphed into jaded mea culpa's for something else. We're taught not only to not say exactly what's on our minds, but to make it so complex and sarcastic, that even if it is exactly what we want to say, the intended recipient doesn't know how to interpret their own mother tongue. 


So when a certain person visiting Morocco for two weeks sends me constant messages just to say "tu me manques", and "Je pense a toi" in a language I only sort of comprehend, I am more than a little lost. Maybe its the years of failed dating. But, I look at my French phone for hours, just trying to understand the meaning behind the words. How do you miss someone you don't know. Is that possible? And if not, then why do I miss him also? Can you think of someone you've only seen once, kissed once? Again, if it isn't possible, then whats this feeling I get at the thought of his embrace? I'm no fool. I get the science behind attraction. Hormones rage, you feel stuff in places and boom - MAGIC HAPPENS. I also understand infatuation. I've been there before. Those times, I was doing all the chasing, all the wanting, and consequently, all the texting, emailing, calling. I was doing the MOST just to be noticed. This is so different from those times.  When he said, "J'espere que tu moblies pas" I laughed. How could I forget him. We haven't stopped communicating for a week. 


I want to live in the moment. I do not want anything to move too far ahead of me, and I don't want to lose myself in all of the "romance" that is happening ( if you don't think a boy calling you from Morocco, to tell you he is thinking of you is romantic, I advise you check the dictionary under "ROMANCE"). I want to be realistic, I want to know what he means. I want to understand, what it all means, and what it could mean. But most of all I just want to listen to Lana Del Rey, and play video games.